This time last year was an incredible moment for me, filled with so many wonderful memories and achievements. But like everything it always has an end and my time at University was ending quicker than I hoped. I left the South feeling very proud, grateful & excited for what’s to come. I was over the moon with everything I accomplished during my 3 years at university; for me it wasn’t just about getting the piece of paper it was about stepping out of my comfort zone, finding confidence in myself and in my abilities, making friends, extending my learning and being independent.
Graduation was, without a doubt, the most wonderful day and I don’t think I’ve ever been so content and so happy. Smug right, but on that day nothing else mattered. It was all about the celebrations. It was my opportunity to be proud of me.
Since then I think it’s fair to say I’ve had my fair share of up’s and downs. The most reliable source for confirming this would be my boyfriend – supplier of chocolates, tissues and a boney, broken collar bone/shoulder to cry on.
Anyhow, I to back track the past 10 months and give a brief idea of what’s been going on I’ve successfully managed to narrow my life down into,
Best flippin’ feeling in the whole world! No more sleepless nights, no more presentations, no more lectures, no more workbooks, no more early mornings, no more grades. I am officially timetable free and I can plan anything and everything, whenever and wherever without having to fit in 5 minutes of photographic analysis here or a quick shoot there. I have SOOOO much time to myself.
2. Summer Excitement Continues
The world is quite literally my oyster right now! Holiday planning has begun, I’m basically packed and ready to leave for any other country with a temperature above 10 degrees. Anywhere that doesn’t involve rain every 5 seconds is greatly appreciated. I’m ready for the whole adult thing – bills, responsibility, perfect job, bills, responsibility, perfect job…
& I’m also so ready for my move to Pembrokeshire, an area begging to be explored. With the coast only a 15 minute drive away and being nestled in the countryside, it is my perfect ideal.
3. Reality Strikes Back Yet Again
And then the post-graduation/summer buzz wears off. I’ve worked 6 days a week for the entire summer holidays and continue to do so & somehow it feels like I have saved zero money. I’ve sat for hours searching for ‘proper’ jobs – turns out you need 1, 2 even 3 years experience in a position before even applying for a job, despite the fact you’ve just spent 27,000£ on 3 years of further education.
Why does everyone have it together except me? Days are quite literally ticking by and all I’m doing is working in a cafe whilst everyone else is on a salary paid job, doing something degree related, doing something they want and enjoy.
I really don’t know how to ‘adult’. Help!
There is a constant overflow of questions rolling through your head over and over again. You find yourself spending most of your time feeling miserable and pitiful. You question your own talent and ability. You wonder whether moving was the right decision. You question whether you’re ever going to reach your goals.
I guess what I feel like I should be doing is getting myself a salary paid job, something degree related and ‘proper’ first before throwing everything into my own business, that way I have something to fall back on if what I want doesn’t work out.
Worst of all, you feel guilty. I think this has been my major downfall. I feel like I’m letting the side down. My mum and dad put so much into my education and gave me so much whilst I was at university, they had so much faith in me and I just feel like I’ve let them down. 10 months on and still a waitress.
Anyway, lets fast forward. 8/04/18.
Weather report: For once we have some sunshine.
Current location: Living in a farmhouse situated just outside of the village of Crymych, sheltered by the Preseli Mountains. (Still don’t know where I am? Google it.)
Position of Employment: I am a Waitress and bloody good at it. I work 6 days a week & usually spend my 7th day sleeping, eating or sitting on the beach.
Achievements: I have new responsibilities, mainly paying for bills but all with my own hard earned cash. My boyfriend and I are saving for a mortgage (longest process known to man) I have Welsh friends and can speak EXTREMELY basic Welsh (mainly hello, goodbye & thank you) I have continued to make time for myself and do things that make me happy. But most importantly the only thing that really remains on my mind is my constant planning and saving for my own business. Oh, also watched the entire box set of friends hence my addiction.
Learnt: To simply enjoy life, and find even the tinniest bit of happiness in every day
Every now and again I look back at where I was a year ago and think about everything that used to worry me, everything that used to consume my mind; the stress of university work, the stress of my grades, the stress of what this year would bring, the worry of not knowing… and I see such a big difference between then and now. I never thought I would have or could have accomplished half of the things I have done so far in my life and I am always grateful for those beautiful reminders that after everything that’s happened and even yet to come, I am going to be OK.
Not long ago I was scrolling through Instagram and one of my friends had posted this quote on their story. Give it a read. It might put things into perspective a little.
– by Julissa Loaiza
Sometimes instead of looking at the bigger picture and mapping out your entire future you simply need to focus on the now. Forget yesterday & don’t even consider tomorrow, just focus on today and step one foot in front of the other.